CAST:
Airman #1
Airman #2
Airman #3
SSgt Kershner
Squadron CC
STAGE:
The flight office. SSgt Kershner is seated facing his three CDC students. He is asking questions about command structure and military organization.
SSgt Kershner: "Which combined command's AOR includes Antarctica?"
Airman #1: "Where is Antarctica anaway?"
Airman #2: "Gurl, you stooopit."
Airman #1: "Well I never had to know dat bafore."
Airman #3: "Do either of you know where it is?"
Airman #2: "Oh, don't even axe me CDC questions. I'll kill you on 'em."
Airman #3: "Where is it?"
Airman #2: "On top of us."
Airman #3: "SSgt Kershner, zat right?"
SSgt Kershner: "Absolutely. Now, how many countries are in NATO and what are they?"
Airman #1: "Two countries."
SSgt Kershner: "Ooookay... what are they?"
Airman #1: "I dun remember."
Airman #2: "One a dems be Europe."
Airman #3: "Ain't the other one Russia?"
SSgt Kershner: "That's close enough. When was the treaty that created NATO signed?"
Airman #1: "1969."
SSgt Kershner: "Nope."
Airman #2: "1930."
SSgt Kershner: "Nope, it was shortly after WWII."
Airman #3: "1970."
SSgt Kershner: "Do any of you know when WWII was? Approximately?"
Airman #3: "30 years ago, about."
SSgt Kershner: "So. WWII was happening when Nixon was president?"
Airman #3: "I guess. I don't really know. Sure."
Airman #2: "Ha! You stoopit! Give me 60 dollars because Tupac is better than Emminem."
Airman #3: "Girl, I will kick yo sorry ass!"
Airman #1: "Is you serious. Serious? Foreal. Awoman canut speek to me-imean she goin' to kickyoass."
Airman #3: "Who is, you is?"
Airman #1: "That's right, the diva."
Airman #3: "What was you smokin' at lunch?"
Airman #2: "They though, oh she's little, I can just whop on her. They didn't once I whuuppeded that ass."
Airman #1: "That's like the wrong mistake you ever make."
SSgt Kershner: "Moving on. Which combined command's AOR includes the Phillipians? Stop laughing."
Airman #1: "Oh! I know this one. It's ah... not AETC... It's... um... is it ACC?"
SSgt Kershner: "That's a MAJCOM. No."
Airman #2: "Is it NORAD?"
SSgt Kershenr: "No. Remember the difference between MAJCOM, Combined Commands, and Unified Commands?"
Airman #3: "Yes, I know. It's the atlantic ocean so it's NATO."
SSgt Kershner: "Acutally NATO is a unified command and the Phillipians are nowhere near the Atlanic ocean."
Airman #3: "Oh, so it's PACAF."
SSgt Kershner: "USPACCOM, you were close. Let's switch to data links. Which data link controls both the F/A-18 and F-14?"
Airmen #1,2,3: "Umm......."
SSgt Kershner: "Stand by. ROOM, ten-HUT."
**Enter Squadron CC**
Sq CC: "As you were, as you were. So what are you doin', guys?"
Airman #1: "Studyin', Sir."
Sq CC: "SSgt Kershner helping you?"
Airman #3: "He's confusing us."
Sq CC: "Really? How far are you along on your studying?"
Airman #3: "We're going over all three volumes."
Sq CC: "What I mean is, how long have you had your CDC's now?"
Airman #3: "Oh. Um. I dunno."
Sq CC: "What about you two?"
Airman #1: "Don't really remember."
Airman #2: "Sometime after FTAC, I guess."
Sq CC: "What month was that?"
Airmen #1,2,3: "Um...."
SSgt Kershner: "They're all pushing 8 months right now. We're performing mandatory supervised study. We do this everyday."
Sq CC: "Do you mind if I sit in, Erik?"
SSgt Kershner: "Sure, Sir."
** All sit at the same table.
SSgt Kershner: "Okay, the last question I asked was which data link controls the F/A-18 and the F-14?"
Airman #1: "The F-16?"
SSgt Kershner: "No, which DATA LINK?"
Airman #1: "Oh, data links."
SSg Kershner: "Right."
Airman #1: "Ha ha, I got one right!"
SSgt Kershner: "No, no. Which one of the data links controls the navy's jets?"
Airman #1: "Oh the navy? I thought we were talking about fighters."
SSgt Kershner: "Anyone else?"
Airman #2: "Is it TADIL?"
SSgt Kershner: "Which one?"
Airman #2: "ATDL 1?"
SSgt Kershner: "No. TADIL C is capable of controlling the 18 and 14."
Airman #3: "Hey... that's what I said!"
SSgt Kershner: "When?"
Airman #3: "Before he came in."
SSgt Kershner: "Very well, perhaps I missed it. Let's go back to Volume 1."
Airman #2: "Aww... sergeant Kershner, why you gotta do that? You know I ain't be studyin' that volume in like three months!"
SSgt Kershner: "Good reason, then, for us to go over it. Okay, which combined command's AOR includes Iraq?"
Airman #1: "Um, is it ACC?"
SSgt Kershner: "No."
Airman #2: "PACAF?"
SSgt Kershner: "No."
Airman #3: "USAFE?"
SSgt Kershner: "No. USCENTCOM. All those you three just mentioned are MAJCOMs."
Sq CC: "Well, I have to get going."
**All stand
Sq CC: "SSgt Kershner, you certainly have your work cut out for you. When will they be testing?"
SSgt Kershner: "They will all test mid September. We have ordered their tests."
Sq CC: "People, you need to take your CDC's very seriously. Sounds like it's sink or swim time. Listen to SSgt Kershner and your NCOs, they know what they're talking about. They've lived these CDCs."
Airman #2: "I understand that Sir, but it's too hard. And SSgt Kershner is confusing."
Sq CC: "The questions he was just asking you were confusing?"
Airman #2: "Yes."
Sq CC: "Tough. Start learning."
**Sq CC exits.
SSgt Kershner: "You guys are really fuckin' pissing me off now."
Airman #1: "Why?"
**Fade to black on SSgt Kershner committing three counts of murder in the first degree.