Ways Jesus Saves.

from www.mcsweenys.net

-Suggests drawing names this year for Xmas exchange
-Wicked fastball that few batters can touch
-Has learned to recognize the first signs of choking
-Water into wine
-Attends matinees rather than evening performances
-Last season's goals-against average: 1.36
-Cuts his own hair (but not often)
-Cuts his apostles' hair (but not often)
-Clicks "File," clicks "Save As," types an appropriate title in field, clicks "Save," then prays to God his computer doesn't lose it
-Dying for your sins