Somber, Scared, and Sad

SOMBER
Lately I have been feeling extremely worried that something bad was going to happen. I have since chalked most of those feelings up to a nervousness about working full time Guard and not having all the money I need right now to feel comfortable.

SCARED
I've been Bible studying with Kevin Swaidek. You guys know me. I'm not a Thumper and I'm not a hellfire and brimstone christian. In fact, my christian beliefs are far removed from what most Christians might believe and make doctrine. Who am I to think I have more truth than millions of church going Chritians? Simply, an indevidual capeable of indevidual's thought. There are somethings I cannot accept.

Tonight, Kevin and I tackled two issues (spontaniously, tonight was in no way designated to be "Bible Study," it just happened that we were curious about a few things). The first issue was: Did Jesus go to Hell when he died on the cross? We read some facinating things and I learned a few things. The second and scarier issue was this: Is there truely an unforgiveable sin? We read two passeges from the New Testament with accents on the real Hebrew word meanings on line and in our Bibles. The first was this: MARK 3:29 - "But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven; he is guilty of an eternal sin." The second was this: HEBREWS 6:4-6 - "It is impossible for those once enlightened...if they fall away to be brought back to reprentance..."

Kevin and I discussed what "Fall away" could mean and we researched that with no concrete answers (are there ever? No.) but decided that we're sure to commit the unforgivable sin would be to 'fall away.' If this is all true and applicable to our lives, Hebrews 6:4-6 is possible the scariest passage in the entire Holy Bible.

SAD
I am sad. I don' mind admiting this to you guys as you are my brothers. Last night I cried on ZZ's lap for 20 minutes. I have never cried so hard in all my life. This has nothing to do with the bible or money or jobs. Perhaps I'll discuss this more later, but I'm happy that I have ZZ for this.

ST, I have not gone to see the 99 rooms yet. Double O said it was cool and he was able to see the sites just fine without a high speed connection. I think I'll go check them out.

Eddie, hope all is well with you. I'm thinking about you a lot.

Peace and Love,
Mungo