Things that cost more than money

We didn't get the car. Denali Bank was going to finance me for $13,000 which would have been enough for a nice used car. We have $3,000 to put down. I think that's pretty good. Apparently though, Denali needed just a few letters from a few company's explaining the marks against me on my credit report. Credit reports! Bah! I've taken the black marks on my credit report down from 8 to 4. Indulge me a moment while I explain the 4 things.

#1. Gulf Power. Didn't turn off my electrickity when I left Florida. Oops, my bad. $150, paid no problem. Oh! But I didn't happen to save a reciept and now it's still on my credit report and nobody at CSI Gulf Power can locate records of payment... or any account information at all.

#2. MBNA. The Air Force didn't take care of my travel vouchers properly and, back in 2003/2004, sent my MBNA travel card into 6 month + deliquency. I spent a lot of time in between my RA's office, the MPF at Tyndall, and my Commander's office. Finally, ever so finally, my commander called me and told me that it had been taken care of and there was nothing further I had to worry about. What I didn't know until TODAY! is that MBNA, in fact, DID charge off the account when no payments were ever recieved. I was told in 2004 and told again two weeks ago that the account had been paid in full and that nothing outstanding remained. Representatives from MBNA themselves have told me this. $560.

#3. GMAC. I hate this finance company. I will never use them again, not if I can help it. From day one they had my information and the information of my cosigner (my father) turned around. How's a 19 year old first time car buyer going to co-sign for a 45 year old home owner and multi-time car buyer with outstanding credit? Anyway, they've still got my Saturn listed as charged off, but it's been paid and I have the title.

#4. CAPITAL ONE. This one's the bastard of the bunch. You guys knew me when I lived in the dorms, right? Kinda seems to me we all spent a lot of time together, didn't we? Think so. Do any of you EVER remember me using a credit card? I had a VISA Check Card, but no credit card. I have never held a credit card (that wasn't issued to me) and I have never applied for one, not once, not ever. But there is one in my name and it comes with a $1,100 charge off.

Two months ago ZZ and I went to Consumer Credit Counceling Services (CCCS) here in town; a government agency providing a free service to people who need help with their credit reports. They were all very helpful, and I walked away with a neatly organized folder containing a list of things I needed to do to get back on my feet. I have spent some time since then going over these things and many of them, I thought, had been taken care of. Not good enough.

I'm not good enough. That's what the banks are telling me. That's what everyone tells us. We're not good enough to have a safe family car with a front bumper on it. I'm a piece of shit in between the hooves of a diseased cow. Gettin' crusty.

So after all afternoon yesterday, and a good portion of today, ZZ and I found ourselves going from the high of being promised the car to the low of the final rejection and the hurt of slapped faces. Not to be defeted so damn easily, after all, the bank only requires a few letters, I went to working the phone for over an hour.

#1. Gulf Power. Sat on 'soundless' hold for 10 minutes, hung up, tried a different number and got connected to another 15 minutes of dead air.

#2. MBNA. Here I got my bad news. Charged off, not paid off. I suck again! But nobody was available to answer my questions in greater detail.

#3. GMAC. Closed for the day, shouldn't have any trouble with them tomorrow....

#4. CAPITAL ONE. This is the bastard of the bunch. First number I tried (off junk mail in the house) didn't work at all. The second number I tried (from their website) connected me to a message saying, "For secret fun long into the the night, call 900-999-TALK. Nine hundred girls are waiting to T - A - L - K to you. Call now. Justnintyninecentsperminute." And then I got disconnected. When I tried the third number (again, from the internet) I followed the menus to the "Report Fraud" department, just as I had done months ago to report the account as fraudulent. I spoke to a friendly guy who said, "Thank you, Mr. Kershner, for verifiying all your information. It looks like your account is now being handled by another department, will you hold shortly while I transfer you?" I said, "Yes." I was on hold for 5 seconds. An asshole picked up and after I re-verified all of my information he said, "Why'd you call me, let me transfer you to the Fraud department." And w/o giving me a chance to speak, I was clicked off to the most irritating music I have ever heard. After 2 or 3 minutes of music, the asshole came back on and said, "I need your phone number so I can send them an e-mail." "What?" I asked. "They are experiancing a high volume of calls at this time (this is the fraud department, remember) so I will send them an e-mail and have someone contact you later." I said, "First off, before you put me back on hold I didn't get a chance to tell you this, The Fraud Department Transfered Me To YOU." He said, very plainly, "No they didn't." I said, very plainly, "Yes they did. The guy pulled up my account, said your department was handling my case and he transered me to you." He said, angrily, "That's stupid. He wouldn't have done that. You're wrong." I said, yelling now, "Don't tell me I'm wrong. Don't tell me I'm stupid! If you're not willing to help me, find somebody who is." I ended up leaving my phone number. That was 5 hours ago, nobody's called.

I'm sorry for the length of this post, but I have to get this all off my chest. These things are so idiotic that I simply cannot understand why they are getting in the way of my family and a USED 2003 Subaru Outback. I guess what I need is for somebody to say, "Erik, our bank recognizes that you and your ZZ are good hard working honost people, good Americans too, and we appriciate the things you have done for our country, and we appricate that you've done so much already to make repairs to your credit, and we can understand that the few remaining blemishes are contraveral and are probably just as trite as you say they are. We'd like to give you the first loan you asked for, here's $23,000 for a new 2006 Outback! Congratulations on being a good person."

But no! Nobody ever says, "I'd like to help you because you're a good person." No! They say, "Fuck you, Kitty, you're gonna spend the night outside. You've made mistakes before and I don't give a shit how hard you've worked to fix them. Let me transfer you to someone who will talk to you long into the night. She's beautiful, I promise, and she says the hottest things."

Peace and Love,
Mungo